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in WhatLIfe with 198 comments

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in WhatLIfe with 198 comments

KWRinQMBDXwgjC

慢慢来,一切都还来得及

​ 每次想要提笔写下一些什么东西,从开始就放弃了,渐渐的内心变成了一个只进不出的貔貅,心里仿佛有一片自己独立的混沌世界,现在连自己都看不清楚深处究竟寄居什么东西。输出一些东西有那么难么,难于开始,难于坚持,难于自己内心对完美的追求罢了。就比如现在,短短三十分钟的京津城际高铁,我也能打开电脑写下一个开头和outline。所以难在于自己的思维久久不能改变,非要觉得一切准备好,有着完美的环境、完美的感情, 心头思绪千万缕才开始。但其实人生少有那样的恰恰好、更多的时候都是恰恰相反,而你只需要把这些当作是一次次不同的体验,去经历它,享受它,这才是人生的常态和应有的态度。

其实不需要那么多的完美追求,人生并不是一个成就奖牌的陈列柜

​ 有时候就会陷入一种过于完美追求的恶性循环,想要做好一件事,觉得每个先决条件都很重要,于是就很难开始一件你准备好好做的事,结果就是永远都没有开始,时间过去了许久许久,结果回头看,还是原地踏步走。这可能就是传说中的“一顿操作猛如虎,定睛一看原地杵”。所以说,准备一件事,一件你觉得你真正想做的,真正喜欢做的事,那就就从决定的那一刻开始,先做起来,你肯定会说,我要先把这个做好,那就得先学好那个,然后就越走越偏,这时候还有一个重中之重的点,永远记住你的主线任务是什么,如果说人生是一个接一个副本打怪升级的路线,那么刷副本的时候最最重要的,就是记住主线任务是什么,做了再多的支线,做的再好再完美,主线任务没有完成,那就是万物乘零都是零的结果。

​ 不止是最近的一段时间吧,也不仅是我一个人的心态吧。总觉得,做什么事都没有了以前的那种冲劲,觉得自己做什么都不行,然后就难以开始像以前一样心怀热忱的做一件事, 全心投入的做一件事。这种处境的出现,我觉得是因为从之前一个什么都看不懂的毛头小子,到了能稍微看懂一些懂得少年,但看懂的越多,也就意味着知道自己和别人相比差了有多少,差距的巨大,让我们心生畏惧,不敢向前,但这并不是最致命的。

​ 你发现比你年长的比你优秀,你会心怀愿景,暗暗鼓励自己我以后也要这么优秀如何如何;发现自己的同龄人比自己优秀,你会觉得,自己前几年的时间都喂到狗肚子里去了,怎么自己什么都不会就毕业了,看看人家大一的时候在干什么,自己毕业了感觉刚到人家大一大二的水平。这时候你会额外珍惜时间,也会显得极为焦躁,不想参加任何活动, 也不想玩游戏,感觉一切的娱乐行为都是罪过,就像完全沉浸在技术的世界里,闭关学习,待到出关的时候企图赶上所有人,但这时病态的心理只会让你急于求成,功利心太重,已经让你感受不到技术的精髓,只能学到皮毛,匆匆一瞥,大概过些日子,记得只有相关的一些名词,具体的如何已经忘的一干二净,就比如,上次补天面试的时候,问sql注入,当场给我写了一个url,让我把盲注的命令写下来,明明已经自己盲注过很多次了,却发现到笔头却只能写个模模糊糊,以前注入的时候都是拿着之前的脚本中的语句改来改去,发现纯自己写,只知道意思,去不能准确的写出来,这就是草草sql-lab刷完的后果,尽管记了笔记,却没有更多的实战经验吧。(又说跑题了)

​ 还有一种就是当你发现比你年轻的学习的比你有动力,学的比你深入,比当初的你优秀的太多了。你就会备受挫败,感觉自己学了赶不上不上别人,越学还越差了,随着了解的深入,发现要学的知识就像一个无底洞,着急的想赶紧学会手头的东西,结果越着急越焦躁,越焦躁越着急,恶性循环下,逐渐失去动力,甚至经过阶段的休息之后,发现了无从下手的窘况吧,什么都稍微懂一点,但是什么都没有成果,赶紧和那些人生赢家相比,人家做什么都能做的很好,很有成果,我们却连自己的本专业都搞不定。

​ 以上的种种的情况, 算是一个对于不同阶段的不同的心理的综述,或多或少都在心里有所浮现过。这些种种的病态心理,简直就像心理垃圾一样,沉淀在池底,死死的堵住了排水口,这池死水,旷日持久下必定是病变的结果。我觉得或许在白天写下来,才能疏通这些杂志吧,才能不在晚上睡觉前胡思乱想。导致失眠(真的是之前失眠那段日子,闭上眼睛就是这些事情)。而且这是典型的道理我都懂, 可我就是不能避免我完全不去想。我甚至可以说出针对每一种情况,应该如何去想的结局办法,然而有时候你想让大脑怎么去想,但是它并不是你想怎样就怎样的。希望书写下来,抒发出来,能有所转变吧。

前些日子去喝了大乌苏,回来晕乎乎的倒头就睡着了,我忽然也就明白了为什么那么多的人酗酒如命,大概就是逃避睡觉前这段难挨的胡思乱想了吧。还有使用各种药物的,真正的心理健康,毫无负担的情况下,倒头睡是最好的情况。 这也是现在的人普遍失眠的原因吧,巨大社会压力。和白日忙忙碌碌的生活。

有关乎努力和身边的环境的

​ 总是觉得自己还不够努力,却在各种时候出现各种各样的无力感。

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